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It was the summer of 2004. I was living in East Tennessee, in a house on the edge of woods, at the halfway point on a mile between a mental hospital and a sewage plant.

Someone knocked on my door, and I knew it had to be trouble. I wasn’t expecting anyone, it was after midnight, and not many people knew where I lived.

The knocking on the front door was insistent, though not loud. A burst of urgent knocking, then a pause, then another burst. I went to the door, in the shorts and T-shirt I slept in, and looked through the glass. The security light was on, but at first I didn’t see anyone.

Then I saw the woman who was standing about halfway down the porch steps, crying, her body trembling.

I opened the door.

“Will you help me?” she said.

“Yeah, of course. What’s wrong?”

She cried harder as she said, “A man was giving me a ride, but he raped me.”

“Come in,” I said, and she did. “Sit down. You’re safe here.” She sat on a chair, and I went to the kitchen, poured a glass of water, and brought it to her. She was barefoot, and had a missing front tooth. I realized that she was probably still in her thirties, but she looked much older.

I went and woke Anni, whom I lived with. We asked the woman, who said her name was Wendy, what she wanted us to do.

She said she didn’t want to call the cops. She wanted to call her sister. Anni handed her a phone, but her hands were shaking so badly she couldn’t dial the number on the first attempt, and then when she did get through she was too upset to talk. She gave the phone to Anni, who explained what had happened, but the sister said she didn’t have a car and couldn’t come and help.

Wendy told us she’d asked a guy she didn’t know to give her a ride to her sister’s house in Georgia, but that he’d brought her to this dark corner of nowhere instead, raped her in the woods, taken her shoes, and told her that if he saw her on the road he would run her over. She said she had walked out of the woods and found our house.

I offered to drive her to a hospital, and she said she wanted to go to Rossville Boulevard, Chattanooga, where she’d left her car, where a friend was waiting for her in the car. She didn’t explain why she’d taken a ride from a stranger and left her friend in her car, and I didn’t ask because I wouldn’t have believed the answer.

I didn’t know what had happened to her, how much of her story was true. All that was certain was that something had happened to her, and that she was miles from anywhere, in the middle of the night, terrified, in bare feet.

She said she didn’t want to go to the hospital right away, because the friend who was waiting in the car would be worried. “I can go after I see her,” she said. Anni asked if the friend had a cell phone. “No.”

Rossville Boulevard is a miserable drag where people sell sex, sell their blood plasma, for enough money to buy cheap drugs and cheap booze.

It was where she wanted to go, and so we took her there, in my pickup truck, with me driving, Anni sitting in the middle, and Wendy squeezed against the passenger side door, wearing a pair of flip-flops Anni had given her. (How she had walked barefoot in these seething, insect-ridden woods is more than I want to imagine.) As I drove, nobody spoke, except to ask for directions and if the air-conditioning wasn’t too cold.

As I exited the freeway onto Rossville, she told me to make a right and pull into a gas station. I did, and she pointed to a red car parked at the side of the building. “Over there. That’s my car.”

There was nobody in the car.

“Do you want us to wait here with you until your friend shows up?” Anni said.

“No, that’s okay.” Wendy got out of the truck. With nothing else to be done or said, we told her to take care. As we pulled out of the gas station, I looked back and saw that she’d walked right past the car that was supposedly hers, and was approaching another car parked nearby.

#memoir #nonfiction #poverty #rape #addiction



What some warmly call “community,” others may experience as a mob. In 2019, a friend of mine who’s a crime fiction author told me they were glad that the Mystery Writers of America had withdrawn its Grand Master award from Linda Fairstein, who, before becoming a novelist, was the prosecutor of the Central Park Five.

“I don’t think there’s a place for Fairstein in the community,” my friend said.

This told me I didn’t want to be part of “the community,” though, in Gary Snyder’s terms, my friend is probably mistaking network for community, as community includes people who don’t like or agree with one another. In an interview in the 1970s, Snyder pointed out there are networks of poets and networks of dentists. He said he had “followers” in the poetry network and the Zen Buddhist network, but not in the community in Northern California where he made his home.

No one could dislike Linda Fairstein, prosecutor, more than I do. I have no opinion, positive or negative, about Linda Fairstein, author, because I haven’t read her books. But I do know her books haven’t prosecuted anyone, innocent or guilty. And the books that made the MWA decide to give her the award have not changed since the decision to withdraw it. In giving in to pressure from those who dislike Fairstein the person, or their idea of her, in making a judgment ad personam rather than literary, the MWA showed itself to be not a literary community but a personal network.

Community is inclusive, not about who is “in” and who is “out.” In community, no one has the authority to exclude, to say who belongs and who doesn’t. In community, by definition, we’re all in it together. A network may be about cool kids and outcasts, Brahmins and Untouchables, but community can’t be.

My friend fell out with another crime writer on social media. The other writer had posted a quote from Mike Tyson, about boxing, and my friend responded by reminding them Tyson is a rapist. The other writer blocked my friend, who didn’t explain how a quote about boxing was invalidated by the criminal history of the former world boxing champion who said it. It seems no matter how authoritative a person might be in their field, if they don’t meet a certain moral standard in their personal conduct, then not only they, but their work and their expertise, are to be shunned. Whether or not they are proven guilty, whether or not they are imprisoned for a period of time, their livelihood, and their personhood, are to be denied indefinitely.

We should hope whoever finds a cure for cancer isn’t a rapist.

#cancelculture #virtuesignalling #socialmedia


from De Paula's Magazine

OpenDNS logo.

The only way to know the quality of the software is by testing.

Ex porn users or people who don't want problems with internet porn, but also can't pay for a porn-blocker software, can use the OpenDNS Family Shield to stay with some health. However, they should not rely on only one software. Also, they should keep in mind that if the user really want to watch porn, he will watch porn. Education is the key of the sucess.


Russian and Korean porn sites opens normally.

When I was testing the Family Shield, I simply wrote секс – sex in Russian – on Google and opened the first 5 links. 3 of them displayed the sites normally. Then I did the same test, but in Korean. The result was a little bit better, 1/5, but opened the first result. Thanks to my ADBlock's filter list I didn't had to saw these things.

Translation services can bypass the DNS filtering.

If I can open a pornsite using a translation service – displaying only the text – it will be a question of time and research to find a service that can reproduce videos without logging only the text-page.

Crawlers, crawlers everywhere.

If I don't use the Safe Search because of the censorship, then I'll be able to load tons of porn images.

What can be?

I know that's a good yet free porn blocker service. But it's not perfect at all. There's no system safe, so, in order to prevent malicious links, it will be good to configure something like the filter list of an ADBlock.

I'm also asking the Open Source Community to developer an A.I. able to recognize porn patterns – by image processing or something like that – that will work as a router. Just cutting off the porn content of webpages. Better than a text processing software, by unloading dangerous media, it also will improve the quality of some mainstream websites.

Also, the pornblocker, for adult users, is not a solution to definitely stay away from this kind of virus. It's just a tool to wake up and say hey, take care! Also, an adult can easily disable his own porn block software to do some kind of self-destructive behavior. For kids and script kids it's important to teach the good habits of the internet usage: as a learning tool. Games, porn and social/entertainment networks will have the same destructive power over the brain. This site can help you with lot's of resources about the science of addiction: Your Brain on Porn.

I'm also glad for the good tool that I can use on all of my devices due to the facilities to configure the OpenDNS Family Shield. However, I don't use only this, but I'm also using other tools like ADBlock and Ghostery. Porn isn't the only internet problem, there's also lot's of malicious software ready to ruin our machines. So, I'm Using the Fedora Project. However, this is just a small OpenDNS article and I'll not go deep this time.



Take care when testing dangerous links! I just posted it in order to show the results for the skeptics ones:

En savoir plus...

from theblacksquid's random thoughts

MAKIALAM (pandiwa)

Sumangkot o makisangkot sa isang gawain o usapin.

Galing sa ugat na:

ALAM (pangngalan)

Pagkakaunawa o pagkakaron ng kamalayan tungkol sa isang bagay.

Ang ating pang araw-araw na buhay ay pinakikialaman ng mga tao at interes na di tugma sa atin. Gubyerno. Boss mo sa trabaho. Yung mga admin ng socmed site na bina-ban yung mga meme page na nagpapapawi ng bahagya sa bigat ng pang araw-araw na kayod. Karamihan sa mga to, di 'rektang nakaka-apekto sa atin. Pero, gawa nga ng mundong lumiliit araw-araw buhat ng online at ng pagsasa-presyo ng lahat ng pangangailangan natin para mabuhay, ramdam pa rin natin yun.

Nabanggit ko mga ilang linggo na sa mga kaibigan ko na di pala mahabang panahon ang isang dekada. Alam mo bang magbebente-singkong taon na pala ang Fushigi Yuugi?? Tangina. Ang tanda na natin, pero ang mundong kinalakihan natin, wala atang pinag-katandaan.

Sabi nga nila “All the world's a stage”, at kung ganun, anong klaseng show kaya ang nasa takilya ng kasalukuyan ngayon?

Climate Change.

Pagpasok na naman ng America sa bagong giyera.

Paglaganap ng mga epidemya.

Pagbili ng China sa ating gubyerno.

Pag-taas ng presyo ng bigas at pamasahe sa bus, tren at jeep.


Di ata magandang ending ang kahahantungan nito.

Pero... “All the world's a stage”. May ganap din tayo.

Ang mga nagpapatakbo ng basurang palabas na tong tinatawag nating mundo ay nasa kapangyarihan lang dahil sinusunod natin ang mga role, mga ganap na bigay nila sa atin. Mga ganap na sila ang ginagawang bida sa buhay natin, kilala man natin sila o hinde. Kung nagtatrabaho ka para mabuhay, Sino ang nagdidikta ng kung anong oras ang gising mo araw-araw? Yung schedule mo buong linggo?

Sino naman ang nagpapatakbo ng mga lansangan na dinadaanan ng jeep na sinasakyan mo? Ng mga riles ng tren na pinagsisik-sikan mo ang sarili mong makapasok? Ng kuryenteng pan-charge ng phone mo? Ng tubig-gripong nawawala-wala araw-araw?

Mamamayan. Empleyado. Kostumer. Mga iba't-ibang ganap, mga iba't-ibang uri ng kontrol.

Mga extra lang tayo sa isang higanteng palabas na sila lang ang bida. Sila lang ang nakikinabang. Sila lang ang matatandaan ng kasaysayan, at hanggang numero lang sa Census ang bilang natin. Minsan kahit yun, wala pa.

Kung isang higanteng palabas ang mundo, agawin natin ang show. Ngayon palang, kita na natin na di maganda ang ending ng palabas na to. Steal the show.

Agawin natin ang mundo.


from zsoltsandor

Lene Marie Fossen

I have been a fan of Susanne Sundfør for a while, but this song has went unnoticed until a few days ago. It's beautifully composed, as expected from Susanne. But it is also heavy, due to the occasion it was written for: a portrait documentary about a tragic Norwegian photographer, Lene Marie Fossen. I have not known anything about her before the video. Her photos are beautiful, and heavy. Heavy, like the anorexia she lived with – for 33 years, carrying the weight of suffering for 23 years. #SusanneSundfør #LeneMarieFossen #WhenTheLord #SelfPortrait #Selvportrett #anorexia #photography #suffering #Norway #Greece #Chios

Susanne Sundfør – When The Lord

Lene Marie Fossen


from 🐺 Goule de Varou 🏭

~ Musique ~

JARL vient de publier son dernier clip, hommage à Nine Inch Nails et feu Johnny Cash, en live home session. Ce fut un bel après-midi, chez nous, en Normandie.

Enjoy !

Enregistrement audio : TSR Studio Mixage & mastering audio, filmage & montage vidéo : Avatar Productions

JARL “Hurt (cover)” –> Home session, Elbeuf © Jarl 2020

#musique #jarl #clip #normandie

© Goule de Varou 2020

En savoir plus...

from umdenken

Können die zu einem Staatstragenden Ereignis offiziellen Verlautbarungen nicht überzeugen und erwecken durch ihre Ausführungen sogar weitere Zweifel, preschen im Handumdrehen alternative Theorien zu den Hergängen in diese Lücken. Ebenso schnell werden solche als vermeintliche Verschwörungstheorien diskreditiert. Vor allem staatliche Institutionen reagieren äußerst empfindlich und gereizt, werden ihre Erklärungen infrage gestellt. In der Regel liegt die Schuld aber bei den politischen Verantwortlichen selbst, arbeiten sie doch stetig an ihrer eigenen Unglaubwürdigkeit.

Die sehnsüchtig erwartete Freigabe der vermutlich entscheidenden Dokumente zur Ermordung von John F. Kennedy 1963 im letzten Moment zu beschränken, ist zur Vertrauensbildung in die vehement vertretenen, offiziellen Stellungnahmen nicht gerade förderlich. Vielmehr stellt dieser Vorgang etwas dar, was eigentlich vermieden werden sollte: es bekräftigt gegensätzliche Ansichten.

Gerade im Fall Kennedy ist das mehr als ungeschickt, glaubt längst niemand mehr an die Einzeltäter Behauptungen. Sämtliche, diesbezügliche Ausführungen wurden inzwischen belastbar widerlegt.

Mit der aktuellen Verschiebung werden wahrscheinlich viele Wahrheitssuchende die Inhalte nicht mehr erfahren, weil sie schlicht verstorben sind. Vielleicht haben sich bis dahin weitere Wogen geglättet, was nicht bedeutet, dass jegliches Interesse je verblassen wird. Über diese unverhoffte Unterstützung freuen sich natürlich alle Verfechter abweichender Interpretationen. Lässt sich aus dieser überraschenden Entscheidung zwar keine Bestätigung selbiger ableiten, schwächt es die Standpunkte der Regierung immens. Ähnelt einem klassischen Eigentor.

Besteht bezüglich des Anschlags selbst kaum noch Aufklärungsbedarf, interessieren natürlich Hintergründe und Auftraggeber oder zumindest das, was ermittelt wurde und somit als offizielle Beweislage angesehen wird. Als Hypothese hat sich weitestgehend durchgesetzt, dass die Waffenindustrie hinter dem Anschlag steckt – was hier nicht ausgeführt werden soll. Deren Macht und Einfluss hat seitdem eher zugenommen, weshalb ihre größte Lobbyisten-Vereinigung NRA auch jetzt ihre Finger im Spiel gehabt haben dürfte.

Allerdings kann auch ausgelassenes Bände sprechen. Das Schweigen der Akten ist daher eine spannende Auseinandersetzung mit diesen Aspekten.

#Lüge #USA #Wahrheit

(English Version)


from rethink

If the official announcements about a national event are not convincing and even arouse further doubts, alternative theories about the course of events will quickly rush into these gaps. Just as quickly, such theories are discredited as alleged conspiracy theories. State institutions in particular react extremely sensitively and irritably, their statements are questioned. Usually, however, the blame lies with the political leaders themselves, as they are constantly working on their own incredibility.

Restricting at the last moment the eagerly awaited release of the presumably decisive documents on the assassination of John F. Kennedy in 1963 is not exactly conducive to building confidence in the vehemently advocated official statements. On the contrary, this process represents something that should actually be avoided: it reinforces opposing views.

Especially in the case of Kennedy, this is more than clumsy, nobody believes in the claims of individual perpetrators any more. All statements in this regard have been refuted in the meantime.

With the current postponement, many truth seekers will probably no longer know the contents because they simply died. Perhaps further waves will have smoothed out by then, which does not mean that any interest will ever fade. Of course, all advocates of divergent interpretations are happy about this unexpected support. Although this surprising decision does not confirm them, it weakens the government's positions immensely. This is similar to a classic own goal.

If there is hardly any need for clarification regarding the attack itself, the background and the ordering party or at least what has been determined and is therefore regarded as official evidence are naturally of interest. As a hypothesis, it has been widely accepted that the arms industry is behind the attack – which will not be discussed here. Their power and influence has rather increased since then, which is why their largest lobbyist association, the NRA, could have had a hand in it.

However, it is also possible to speak volumes. The silence of the files (de) is therefore an exciting examination of these aspects.

#Lie #Truth #USA

(Deutsche Version)

{Translated with the help of Deepl}


from Blog de MauthausenGusen

Leer más...


10th floor flat human being sitting in meditation on cushion on floor facing window

window shelf potted plant sitting leaning bending reaching for sunlight

#poetry #zen #meditation



I. Worst winter in quite a while: the guy who delivered our calor gas was frantic, rushed off his feet. “Never been so busy. And the other boy I work with’s went and got himself arrested — driving without a licence.” We sympathised while he put the gas in our heater and then he ran down the stairs to his van, too busy to be cold.

II. The living room warmed by the oven, door open, grumbling of gas; we’ll sleep in here tonight, on the couch that folds down, duvets brought through from the bedroom where we could see our breath. My wife asleep already, ferocious body warming the duvets; me in a chair, reading, in a tartan scarf and red ski hat.

#poetry #zen #love #marriage



Halloween rising, and I’m riding shotgun with an incandescent raver girl at the wheel and a junkie on the back seat when the bars are closing and the desert a mirror of the moon

— Phoenix, AZ 2007

#poetry #raves #clubbing #romance #addiction #nightlife



“It’s so beautiful here,” I told the man I was staying with on that island in the North of Scotland. “What’s beautiful about it?” he asked, pouring me another dram. “Everything,” I said. “Just look at the view!” “What view?” he said. “There’s no view. There’s only mountains and heather and trees and water.” When I went back to the city I looked at it for the first time.

#poetry #zen #scotland



you lie on the bed like sunlight sunlight on the wings of birds

no, you don’t

(this is why poetry is rarely to be trusted: unable to accept things as they are it has to turn them into things they are not)

you lie on the bed like yourself yourself lying naked on a bed

and to compare you to anything else would be to make you less than you are

#poetry #sex #love #zen


from zsoltsandor

Last Christmas I had a spoken conversation with my brother about a topic, and suddenly I had relevant ads in my Facebook app. This was probably the last straw for me to decide whether I should leave the Zuckerverse, or not.

Obviously, there have been other huge red flags throughout the years, like Cambridge Analytica, Zucc's not too reassuring hearings by American and European officials, and the fact that the Zuckerverse is so deeply integrated into the web by now, that it would appear living without it is futile, suggests antisocial behavior, and a general apathy towards the world we live in. As if not being part of it meant you're not part of the world.

But hey, online social life does happen on a plethora of other platforms, the Fediverse has all kinds of services tailored for all kinds of needs and desires. It's not just the Zuckerverse it can replace, but also the Googleverse, and Twitter as well. And there are other platforms you can choose from.

You can vent your shower thoughts on Mastodon and/or Pleroma. You can post your picture perfect shots on Pixelfed. You can build your friends' and family network on Friendica. You can post your vlogs on Peertube. You can write longer notes, blog posts on Write Freely. There is a service for every need. All these run on their on platforms, on several instances, and you can choose which one you want to register with. You can register with all, and follow yourself back and forth, so you can repost on your other platforms as needed, because they are federated, interconnected, get along with each other.

Yes, the Fediverse is indeed a playground of questionable content, but instances designed for the general public will block and filter that kind of content from the public streams. You can usually still follow them, if that's your thing, but reposting might be restricted, or banned.

For other social interactions there is also Reddit, and for p2p or group chats there is Telegram and/or Discord and/or Riot.

The choice is yours, if you want to take the step away from the Zuckerverse (and optionally, the Googleverse).

Happy Federating!